3.What were the coping strategies which you used to accept the co-wives relationship? One of the misconceptions about being someone's second wife is that you'll have no choice but to have a low-key courthouse wedding with minimal fanfare, and that the ghosts of weddings past will linger. Polygamy: As Supreme Court decides on banning it, here's how Muslim Could Your Relationship Benefit from Marital Counseling? Why American Muslims don't care to legalize polygamy. - Slate Magazine 2014; 5(27): 1058-1058. The purpose of this study is to investigate married womens experiences in polygamous marriages and their ways of coping to accept this relationship. Then there are the kids. Participant Mrs. Abdullah stated that in her pain after her 1st husband's death and later divorce from her previous husband due to barrenness when she met her third husband who dealt her effectively with her emotional pain. Mrs. Amir (second wife) and Mrs. Kamal (first wife) were felt lonelier and criticized by their family because of infertility and the new wives were getting more privilege socially and financially because of having children. Yet we make as felicitous a stepfamily as you are likely to find. The supervisor of the study verified the emerging themes and contents. However later on she has also accepted co-wife because of infertility and destiny. An analysis of 11 cases of polygamous women transcribed verbatim showed a cluster of themes as infertility or having only female children, love marriage of husband, family pressure, the relationships among co-wives, and their coping strategies to accept this relationship in their marital life. She was divorced from her second husband because of infertility and the first time her husband died of an illness. Table 1: Frequency of co-wives for infertility, only female children, love marriage and family pressure as reasons of polygamous marriages (n=11). Practicing polygamy as a legal permanent resident can lead to deportation, as can a criminal conviction for bigamy. Utah senate unanimously moves to decriminalize polygamy Al-Krenawi A, Graham JR. A comparison of family functioning, life, and marital satisfaction, and mental health of women in polygamous and monogamous marriages. 4. Im in computer programming, which should tell you how much I love interacting with people, he says with a laugh. Outcomes of polygamous marriages were a second theme generated by evaluating the relationships of co-wives. No, it is illegal.Under Section 494 of the Indian Penal Code, if a person marries a second time, without a divorce, while their spouse is alive, the marriage is considered bigamy, which is a punishable offense. ASEAN Journal of Psychiatry (MyCite Report). Whats not typically expected is becoming a second wife. The Pros and Cons Of Being A Second Wife - MadameNoire Tabi MM, Doster C, Cheney T. A qualitative study of women in polygynous marriages. He enters willingly, eyes open, arms spread--he's the emotional version of a skydiver. International Journal of Mental Health. These findings have implications for policymakers and family advisors. Growing up my mother was abused by my father, Thembi says as she wipes away a tear. But that's not the case in Canada, says Imam Hamid Slimi of the Sayeda Khadija . Interview With Azad Chaiwala: the Founder of Secondwife.com and 10 Questions You Always Wanted to Ask a Second Wife - VICE - VICE is According to Mrs. Abdullah (3rd wife: Amina), she and other wives are living in the same home and got along well. Evelyn shrugs and says women should always know their rights and not be afraid to fight for them. She always imposes a fine of 5,000 Malaysian ringgit (around $1,700) and six strikes of a cane. You know, its so sad because the new wives are also being treated horribly by my father but theyre too proud to talk to my mother because of the way they mistreated her.. When your friends talk about Christmas and having the whole family there togetheryoure over there thinking, The ex has the kids for Christmas Bummer. Mrs. Amir was the 2nd wife and also had no children her husband married her for children and his family again forced him for 3rd wife by giving the reference of the religious doctrine. She said," My husband helped me to survive emotionally and financially". I realized, several years after I remarried, that one of my oldest friends never quite forgave me for getting on with life after my divorce. A few years ago, her mother was killed in a car accident. She said that she and her husband was working in the same organization. Mediterranean Journal of Social Sciences. The advantages of polygamy were included sharing in-house responsibilities and child-rearing. Social Change. For example, many people view second wives as cheating, homewreckers, and gold diggers. Opponents of decriminalization say the current law should not be changed because polygamy is inherently dangerous and harmful to women and children, particularly young girls, some of whom have. First theme: reasons of polygamy as findings indicated that majority of females allowed their husbands for co-wives due to infertility or having only female children, husbands love marriage, and in-laws family pressure because they wanted to secure their marriage instead of divorce. Impact of a Polygamous Marriage on Children and Family Her relationship with her co-wife was perceived to be sisterly. It was hell for my mom and me afterwards, Evelyn says. My husband is as much a second husband as Im a second wife. While Pakistan being an Islamic state where religion allows polygamy, the more typical reasons have been observed in the current study by multiple co-wives such as infertility, a woman being a mother only by female children, love marriage, or family pressure with the reference of religious doctrine. The sensitivity and the comfort level of discussing polygyny may have affected the sample size. Provide the three areas that were Islamized. They must be educated through different seminars and programs to cope with the stress and manage other consequences of polygamy. The Benefits of Being the Second Wife - Brides In the long run, it is usually the second wife who is accepting of polygamy. Lillian, for example, says she changed her mind because she could see how sorry Thamsanqa was for hurting her, and when he explained his reasons she was able to move from heartbreak to acceptance. The policymakers and law enforcement agencies should pass laws for the welfare of polygamous women. Understand that he couldve cheated, but rather chose something that is common in African culture. Thamsanqa says its important to make sure you really want another wife, and to thoroughly analyse your reasons. So, you're happily married to the Muslim man of your dreams when, suddenly, he drops the p-bomb: polygamy. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. Al-Sharfi M, Pfeffer K, Miller KA. It doesnt mean that it wont last. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. Divorce can be an expensive proposition. Lillian takes care of the children and is responsible for the admin of the taxi business, and Thembi still works as a nurse. Co-wife conflict and co-operation. With over 100k combined users in countries around the world (including 2,000 active users in Canada), Chaiwala's latest move is to launch a Google Play app for SecondWife.com, to bring polygamy . 2010;57(1): 121-127. The newlyweds moved to Soweto where they started a family after Nomqondiso died. I'm seven months pregnant. She said that time was very painful for me and my little daughters. After the wedding they all moved into a bigger house with cottages at the back for the children. Jealousy: Jealousy is a common response to protect ones relationship [14]. Decisions made by two people in first families are often made or influenced by four or more adults in stepfamilies. Constitutionally, polygamy raises important issues under the free exercise clause of the First Amendment. Bigamy occurs when one man illegally marries more than one woman. Istanbul, Turkey. Polygamy; Antecedents of Polygamy; Outcomes of Polygamy; Coping Strategies of Co-wives. It is an option. A record of 26 women was collected for polygamous families through snowball sampling for the availability of co-wives. Why polygamy is good for women. - Slate Magazine Accepting polygamy does not make. Many young women might regard being a second wife better than remaining single. She told, "I used to cry in isolation". Family Process. The second wife shouldn't marry unless he promises to tell the first wife. First theme: reasons of polygamy as findings indicated that majority of females allowed their husbands for co-wives due to infertility or having only female children, husbands love marriage, and in-laws family pressure because they wanted to secure their marriage instead of divorce. They were much younger than my mother, just eight years older than me. Reviewed by Lybi Ma. Polygamy | Becoming A Second Wife | Accepting Other Wives 13,077 views May 15, 2020 154 Dislike Share Diaspora Ukhti 3.66K subscribers This is a survey only! Some children may not accept a new mother or father figure, so instilling values or upholding rules with them may prove difficult. Women need to be empowered with education and positive affirmation of self-worth. The world is their oyster. Mrs. Imam, Mrs. Ahmad, Mrs. Kamran, and Miss Nadia also admitted co-wives relationship and compromised with this relationship (Table 3). https://www.mckinleyirvin.com/family-law-blog/2012/october/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/, https://www.gottman.com/blog/10-rules-successful-second-marriage/, Living with a Spouse Who Has Aspergers Syndrome: the Cloud of Secrecy. Family pressure: Family pressure is also one of the common reasons for polygamous marriages. She almost lost her life I couldnt bear the thought of losing her. He kisses the back of Lillians hand as he talks.
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